It never stops. Well, there are pauses at times, much like when you are watching a movie at home and pause it to pee. But otherwise, it is a movie reel that goes continuously in your head. There are times it is louder, more clear, others a low hum in the background. Continue reading
Thomas Joiner, MD has an amazing book called “Why Do People Die by Suicide.” He proposes many theories on the why. People who die by suicide have a desire to die and have overcome the natural instinct we all have for self-preservation. With that desire, he found two things often occurred: there is a perception of being a burden to others and a social disconnect to something larger than oneself (a sense of isolation). Combine that with an acquired capacity, learned ability, or fearlessness, you have someone with a very elevated risk of suicide. Continue reading
I was going to go through the hundreds of things I have written over the past couple of years and post something from that. That is the nice thing about when you are consistently trying to do a “regular” thing (ie. every Tuesday) and you are busy. That was not my excuse today. Today I just don’t want to. Frankly, I don’t want to much these past few days. Then I figured, what is the point of being raw and honest if you don’t. So here I am. Continue reading
PTSD is a disorder that develops in someone who has experienced a shocking, scary, or dangerous event according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Not everyone will develop it, though those that do, it can show up immediately or even years after. Some people recover, some people live with it chronically. Having it present in your life can reek havoc (in your day to day, work, family, relationships). It shows up in a variety of ways: flashbacks (re-experiencing), nightmares, thoughts that are “worst case scenarios.” You may block out time around the event, you may be more forgetful in general, have trouble focusing, not enjoy things like you used to, avoid things/places/people. Your body may go through a variety of reactions when experiencing PTSD. You may become dizzy, scared, have temperature changes (hot/cold), break out in a sweat, want to cry, have a rapid heart beat, shake, be nauseous. It can happen for obvious reasons (you see something that reminds you of the event) or it can happen out of no where. Those are especially challenging because people will often ask you: “I don’t understand, why did it happen?” And the answer is I just don’t know. Continue reading