I hear them (and not in a Sixth Sense kind of way, well, maybe). Both of them. Mostly her. The “quiet” times are the most prevalent…
Continue readingEchoes in the quiet
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Tag Archives: PTSD
I’m alive
It is weird to think that I had heart surgery less than two weeks ago. I am constantly awed at the advances we have made in western medicine that they did not have to crack me open to do this.
Continue readingHeart Surgery, no joke
I have sat down to write this several times today,as my heart is beating hard and feeling like it is going to pop out of my chest.
Continue readingA broken heart
Literally.
Continue readingIt is no surprise
I think of them all the time, there is not a day that passes that they don’t enter into my mind. She more than him, popping in, making my heart stop for a moment, it building up the walls to the emotions that threaten it. In addition to the everyday, there are those touchstone days that happen throughout the year that add another layer, Christmas is one of those.
Continue readingGratitude with mental illness
I have spent a lot of time recently working on gratitude. It can be tricky, as most things in my life. Yet, study after study shows that when you take time each day to focus on it, it can help with depression, outlook, hopelessness. Ironically, when you are struggling with those things, it can be next to impossible to grasp at.
It’s the little things – how life can be overwhelming for someone with a history of trauma
I can count on one hand how many days since Jesse and Bella died in 2014 that I have had motivation and energy for an entire day. It actually astounds me that I have gotten as much done as I have. Continue reading
A glimpse of my mind
This was my experience on Saturday morning, it’s a glimpse of what PTSD is like. I have said time and time again, it is ruthless and indiscriminatory in its nature. I have no idea when it will decide to show its colors. People who live with this, on some level, are always bracing for it to show up. It doesn’t always. But man, when it does, it can range from mild to a doozy.
Catastrophizing
I am going to give you a peek into me from 430am this morning until now. Right now I feel like a carbonated beverage that has been shaken up so much, and the cap is holding on barely. Continue reading
Too many anniversaries
Last week was rough. I realize my dreaded sub-conscious was hard at work while my conscious just wanted to be normal. But alas, I am not.