I forget. I forget how much my body and mind are processing. All the time. Until it doesn’t. Continue reading
Mental break
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Tag Archives: loss
Four years
It is weird. Part feels like forever ago. Part feels like yesterday. I am actually writing this the day before, as tomorrow, I just don’t know how I am going to be. Continue reading
One week away…
You have seen over the last few weeks me in an extremely focused mode, going from one task to the next. The past week has been interesting as time closes in on this 4th anniversary. Continue reading
Holding it all in the palm of my mind, I mean hands
I am holding immense sadness that is threatening my grasp on holding it together, a smidge of overwhelm, and gratitude. I am two weeks from the 4th anniversary of their death…
A glimpse of my mind
This was my experience on Saturday morning, it’s a glimpse of what PTSD is like. I have said time and time again, it is ruthless and indiscriminatory in its nature. I have no idea when it will decide to show its colors. People who live with this, on some level, are always bracing for it to show up. It doesn’t always. But man, when it does, it can range from mild to a doozy.
Juggling too much – and I suck at juggling
I have said for a long time, I would like life to be a bit boring for a while, just to see how that fits on for size. Not sure when that is in the cards. Continue reading
“It’s called the mast Stephanie”
I found out Sunday that my favorite uncle passed. I felt the familiar buzzing sensation, weakness in the knees, and then nausea. His name was Vito Speziale, and if you doubted my Italian heritage, you won’t now. The world has lost two amazing men in a matter of months, two father figures, one literal, and one who I have looked up to since I was a child. Continue reading
Too many anniversaries
Last week was rough. I realize my dreaded sub-conscious was hard at work while my conscious just wanted to be normal. But alas, I am not.
Self Care
Self care is one of the most important and loving things you can do for yourself. Though I have always been “decent” at it by doing what I do for a living and making sure I walk my talk, after Jesse and Bella died, it became imperative. Continue reading
Insomnia and Jon Bon Jovi
I hate insomnia. It is this thing that keeps tagging along thinking we are friends, and we are not. Continue reading