It is completely surreal to me that it has been this long…
Continue readingFive F*^&ing Years
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Tag Archives: loss
Echoes in the quiet
I hear them (and not in a Sixth Sense kind of way, well, maybe). Both of them. Mostly her. The “quiet” times are the most prevalent…
Continue readingWith Jesse, it’s complicated
It was Jesse’s birthday yesterday, he would have been 39. He has been on my mind a lot over the past few weeks, something I often don’t share.
Continue readingA broken heart
Literally.
Continue readingIt is no surprise
I think of them all the time, there is not a day that passes that they don’t enter into my mind. She more than him, popping in, making my heart stop for a moment, it building up the walls to the emotions that threaten it. In addition to the everyday, there are those touchstone days that happen throughout the year that add another layer, Christmas is one of those.
Continue readingThe Shape of Water
“Unable to perceive the shape of you, I find you all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with your love. It humbles my heart, for you are everywhere.” – an adaptation by Guillermo del Toro of a translation made by Priya Hemenway of an original poem by Hakim Sanai
It’s the little things – how life can be overwhelming for someone with a history of trauma
I can count on one hand how many days since Jesse and Bella died in 2014 that I have had motivation and energy for an entire day. It actually astounds me that I have gotten as much done as I have. Continue reading
Holding the Space
I have mentioned in many a post how I have been waiting for my kid’s grief to come to the surface, as it inevitably does for all of us at some point or way. Over the past few months, it has been bubbling to the surface. It is heart breaking as a parent when we see our kid in pain and can’t take it away or make it better. Today was no different. Continue reading
It would have been 4th Grade
As I scroll down my Facebook feed at all the back to school pictures, I am left wanting and conflicted. Continue reading
I tried last week, I really did, but just couldn’t
I tried to write last week, I really did, but I just couldn’t. I started a letter to Maribella for her upcoming birthday, and every time I wrote a line, a tear escaped, each tracing a new pattern down my face, a torrent threatening behind. All while I was numb. Continue reading