You have seen over the last few weeks me in an extremely focused mode, going from one task to the next. The past week has been interesting as time closes in on this 4th anniversary. Continue reading
One week away…
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Tag Archives: hope
“That’s gonna be uhhh you know uhhh fascinating transition”
I just started watching Season 3 of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt recently. I don’t know if it is that I have a different perspective now or what, but it has gotten me to thinking about things. Continue reading
Hope – a four letter word – Part 1
I realized something this past Sunday evening. No matter how many healthy habits, fun events, and amazing people I fill my life with, I cannot make my tragedy go away. Basically, I can’t run away from myself. I knew that. Really. However, you can’t blame me for continuing to try. Continue reading
Navigating the memories – aka – the never ending movie reel
It never stops. Well, there are pauses at times, much like when you are watching a movie at home and pause it to pee. But otherwise, it is a movie reel that goes continuously in your head. There are times it is louder, more clear, others a low hum in the background. Continue reading
New Ground Forged
I almost named this one anniversaries part 2. Jesse would have been 37 this past Saturday. I posted on my Facebook wall the day prior how much I hated anniversaries. Well, it may have said how much I fucking hated anniversaries, but details. I was with some friends the week prior, and one of my dearest was having her 50th birthday party this past Saturday. She and her husband both asked if I was coming. All I had to reply was that it was Jesse’s birthday, and they nodded, gave me a squeeze, knowing that I needed to be alone. Continue reading
Halloween
It used to be one of my favorite holidays. I have memories of my dad going upstate and getting my mom some of the biggest pumpkins ever. She would take so much joy intricately carving those, decorating the house, buying a new “creepy” thing each year to add to her collection. She reveled in each of the costumed children that came to the door, particularly the littles. One of the things I “got” from her was a love of this day. Jesse loved it as well. For many years, we were the creepiest house on the block by far. Continue reading
I was gonna…
I was going to go through the hundreds of things I have written over the past couple of years and post something from that. That is the nice thing about when you are consistently trying to do a “regular” thing (ie. every Tuesday) and you are busy. That was not my excuse today. Today I just don’t want to. Frankly, I don’t want to much these past few days. Then I figured, what is the point of being raw and honest if you don’t. So here I am. Continue reading