There is an emptiness within that will never be filled, a broken heart. I ponder if her birthday is even harder than their death date?
Continue readingEmptiness
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Tag Archives: grief
Happy almost 10th birthday Maribella…
I touch down into my body occasionally with this, and my body rejects it much like food that is spoiled. It is like, nope, sorry, not going there. Not possible. Not one little bit. But, alas, it’s true 🙁
Continue readingFinding beauty within the pain
The dreaded marker of five years has come and gone.
Continue readingFive F*^&ing Years
It is completely surreal to me that it has been this long…
Continue readingFour years, ten months, seventeen days
She was four years, ten months, and seventeen days when she died. Yesterday, it was four years, ten months, and seventeen days since she died. Today, she is dead longer than she was alive.
Continue readingIt is no surprise
I think of them all the time, there is not a day that passes that they don’t enter into my mind. She more than him, popping in, making my heart stop for a moment, it building up the walls to the emotions that threaten it. In addition to the everyday, there are those touchstone days that happen throughout the year that add another layer, Christmas is one of those.
Continue readingA mother’s love. And worry.
Dear one, if you only knew and believed how much I love you
The Shape of Water
“Unable to perceive the shape of you, I find you all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with your love. It humbles my heart, for you are everywhere.” – an adaptation by Guillermo del Toro of a translation made by Priya Hemenway of an original poem by Hakim Sanai
It’s the little things – how life can be overwhelming for someone with a history of trauma
I can count on one hand how many days since Jesse and Bella died in 2014 that I have had motivation and energy for an entire day. It actually astounds me that I have gotten as much done as I have. Continue reading
Holding the Space
I have mentioned in many a post how I have been waiting for my kid’s grief to come to the surface, as it inevitably does for all of us at some point or way. Over the past few months, it has been bubbling to the surface. It is heart breaking as a parent when we see our kid in pain and can’t take it away or make it better. Today was no different. Continue reading