I feel like I have been numb over the past week. I cancelled my patients on Wednesday after my dad passing on Tuesday, which gave me until yesterday before I had to go back to work. I stayed mostly away from emails and to-do’s. I had this wired tired sensation that lived within me. I was scared at times. I got called out for not being compassionate with myself (thanks honey, xo). Continue reading
I am sitting in one of the most peaceful places I have been in a long time, upstate NY, at my boyfriends parents house. I am looking out the window at a small lake, the leaves starting to turn into the glory we all wait for this time of year. This one will be short, as I am on vacation, but wanted to share some thoughts on a movie we watched last night, Manchester by the Sea. Continue reading
You will have to forgive me as this blog will be a bit shorter. I am juggling a lot of potentially great things right now, and my mind is distracted on dotting i’s and crossing t’s. However, I read an amazing article this week by Thomas Joiner.
Continue reading
A cruise you may ask? Well, it is not exactly the cruise itself, but the people who were on it… Continue reading
I went to my shrink yesterday (yes, he is okay with me saying that). It had been awhile because of holidays, conflicting schedules and me seeing how I did with more time in between. That last part is a first, up to this point I have been going anywhere from two times a week to every other. At this point, he knows me pretty well after almost three years. I made a commitment to myself, my family and friends after Jesse and Bella died, to be brutally honest in where I was, so that I could survive. Continue reading
I saw “Arrival” last night (if you have not seen it, there are some spoilers, not many, but some). My dear friend of course “prepared” me as much as possible, as she often does. Any time I am about to see a movie that she has seen that has potential triggers for me, she gives me a synopsis for which I am grateful. It does not mean I will not react, but at least there is some preparation, some walls that I can put around the over-reactive trauma that lurks in my brain, waiting to pounce at any given moment. Continue reading
There is a pain so utter that it swallows substance up
Then covers the abyss with trance—
So memory can step around—across—upon it
As one within a swoon goes safely where an open-eye would drop him—
—Bone by bone
~Emily Dickinson
To experience pain, one knows they are alive…I either came up with that or read it somewhere. Continue reading
Seven years, five months, fifteen days. That is how old she would be today. I usually don’t know that off the top of my head, unless it’s on the 21st (her birthday was June 21, 2009). However, it is something I can come up with rather quickly. Any parent who lost their child can. It’s a thing. Continue reading
I wrote this September 2, 2015 Continue reading
As I sat in the coffee shop that I normally write in, I pondered what to share today. Usually it comes to me on my morning run, but today, it did not, I was preoccupied with the election. The sky is one of those brilliant blues that have been rare here lately, so I was gazing outside lost in the birds flitting around, the contrast of the trees against this bright backdrop pondering the importance of today, being election day, and the angst among the people leading up to and including today. I am actually less anxious about the actual results today, but what weighs heavily in my mind is the rift that has happened in our country. Continue reading