After a death, there are many points in the calendar that will speak of the passage of time. Birthdays are one of them.
Continue reading40. You would have been 40.
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Tag Archives: death
Emptiness
There is an emptiness within that will never be filled, a broken heart. I ponder if her birthday is even harder than their death date?
Continue readingEchoes in the quiet
I hear them (and not in a Sixth Sense kind of way, well, maybe). Both of them. Mostly her. The “quiet” times are the most prevalent…
Continue readingFour years, ten months, seventeen days
She was four years, ten months, and seventeen days when she died. Yesterday, it was four years, ten months, and seventeen days since she died. Today, she is dead longer than she was alive.
Continue readingHeart Surgery, no joke
I have sat down to write this several times today,as my heart is beating hard and feeling like it is going to pop out of my chest.
Continue readingHere is the code
We all have to-do lists. For me, it keeps me somewhat organized: running a business, doing advocacy work, getting ready for the holidays, throwing surprise parties, etc. But there are those items that are super hard. Like, I don’t wanna hard. And FYI, there are some details in this you may not want to read if you are sensitive. Not many and not graphic, but being one who is sensitive to things, trying to be empathetic to others. Continue reading
Gratitude with mental illness
I have spent a lot of time recently working on gratitude. It can be tricky, as most things in my life. Yet, study after study shows that when you take time each day to focus on it, it can help with depression, outlook, hopelessness. Ironically, when you are struggling with those things, it can be next to impossible to grasp at.
The Shape of Water
“Unable to perceive the shape of you, I find you all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with your love. It humbles my heart, for you are everywhere.” – an adaptation by Guillermo del Toro of a translation made by Priya Hemenway of an original poem by Hakim Sanai
I tried last week, I really did, but just couldn’t
I tried to write last week, I really did, but I just couldn’t. I started a letter to Maribella for her upcoming birthday, and every time I wrote a line, a tear escaped, each tracing a new pattern down my face, a torrent threatening behind. All while I was numb. Continue reading
Oh, that’s why I run
Between traveling and starting whole 30 nine days ago, I have not been running. I am not a natural runner, am slow as molasses, don’t love it, but do it for sanity purposes. It has consistently been the one thing since Jesse and Bella died that has helped. All the things they say about exercise helping depression are true. Continue reading