I am holding immense sadness that is threatening my grasp on holding it together, a smidge of overwhelm, and gratitude. I am two weeks from the 4th anniversary of their death…
Holding it all in the palm of my mind, I mean hands
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Whiplash
How do I even summarize the last week? Whiplash. I had arbitration last Wednesday and Thursday on Jesse and Bella’s case from the car accident in 2013… Continue reading
One day at a time
I have too much on my plate right now. And all things considering, I feel like I am doing the best I can under the circumstances, but I also feel like I am dancing on the edge of breaking. Continue reading
A glimpse of my mind
This was my experience on Saturday morning, it’s a glimpse of what PTSD is like. I have said time and time again, it is ruthless and indiscriminatory in its nature. I have no idea when it will decide to show its colors. People who live with this, on some level, are always bracing for it to show up. It doesn’t always. But man, when it does, it can range from mild to a doozy.
Juggling too much – and I suck at juggling
I have said for a long time, I would like life to be a bit boring for a while, just to see how that fits on for size. Not sure when that is in the cards. Continue reading
I know death is a part of life, but….
Seriously already. Continue reading
“It’s called the mast Stephanie”
I found out Sunday that my favorite uncle passed. I felt the familiar buzzing sensation, weakness in the knees, and then nausea. His name was Vito Speziale, and if you doubted my Italian heritage, you won’t now. The world has lost two amazing men in a matter of months, two father figures, one literal, and one who I have looked up to since I was a child. Continue reading
Catastrophizing
I am going to give you a peek into me from 430am this morning until now. Right now I feel like a carbonated beverage that has been shaken up so much, and the cap is holding on barely. Continue reading
Bursting my bubble – the work that needs to be done in suicide awareness and lethal means safety
This past week has been hard for all of us. 17 more innocent lives lost. It brings to the forefront arguments that have been given time and time again, some correct, some incorrect. I am not going to get into them all, but wanted to touch upon a “conversation” from today via Facebook. Continue reading
Mental Health Day
I was raised that no matter what, you push through and do what you need to do. This includes when you are feeling under the weather, which I am guilty of doing sometimes, even though I tell my patients to take care of themselves. So, you can imagine me taking time for me when I’m feeling OK and have things to do. Well, that’s what I’m doing today. Continue reading