Yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day. Did you know that? What do you do for it? Did you even know it was a “thing”?
I didn’t know, until I did. Frankly, I did not know that much about suicide, until I was a loss survivor of a murder suicide. That is how it usually works sadly, which is why the people working in the field are trying to change it. I, of course, with my history and trauma want it done yesterday, because I don’t want anyone else to be in this loss survivor’s club, it sucks.
The stats are astonishing when you break them down. It is the 10th leading cause of death. In 2016, 45,000 people died by suicide, which works out to one person every 40 seconds. Half of those that died, died by firearm. Rates are highest in the spring. Four times more men die than women.
I ponder wtf every year as I see the rates go up. If people died from anything else with these numbers, and the rates increased, there would be a mass movement to change that. When they realized people died by not using seat belts, they changed the law. When cancer rates went up, the government funded research, and a lot of it. Now it is not necessarily a death sentence all the time when you get that diagnosis. I could go on. But the question remains, why is there still such a hiccup around mental health? About suicide.
I have found I am just as guilty in those hiccups. When I have had a severe cold, I don’t berate myself for it, I am grump for sure, but do the things I need to do to get better. When I broke my arm, I didn’t berate myself, I went to the ER, got a cast, did follow up with an orthopedist, made modifications in my life while it healed. Why is it when I have PTSD, a panic attack, anxiety, or my grief or depression gets worse, do I berate myself and try to push through it? If I was at a social event, and all of sudden felt ill, I would apologize and leave? Why, when I am at this same event and have an out of the blue panic or anxiety attack, I feel guilty, ashamed, and make up some excuse to get out of there so I can go cry? I am better than I was, but it still happens, like on a daily basis! Me, who knows better, still does this, which should give you a clue why people are not doing the things they need to do to stay alive and get the help they need.
A lot of people just don’t know what to do or look for? Part of my job is education, without knowledge, we are helpless to make change. If you had pain in your chest that went down your arm or into your shoulder blade, were short of breath, maybe were sweating, you would think heart attack, right? Right?! Yes, yes you would. You would, because that basic set of knowledge has been taught over and over, we have seen it in movies, we have read about it. How about if you were versed in the same signs and symptoms for suicide risk?
Know the 12 Suicide Warning Signs:
- Feeling like a burden
- Being isolated
- Increased anxiety
- Feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
- Increased substance use
- Looking for a way to access lethal means
- Increased anger or rage
- Extreme mood swings
- Expressing hopelessness
- Sleeping too little or too much
- Talking or posting about wanting to die
- Making plans for suicide
Knowing these are a start. You also need to know that according to the CDC, there are many factors that can lead to it.
With Jesse, I can check off things on this list, including the fact that he went to see his psychiatrist that morning. Did you know that 45% of the people who die by suicide saw their primary care physician within the previous month? That is kinda important, and one of the things I want to see change in a major way. Just like when you go into the docs office and they take your vitals, I want “mental health vitals” be taken as well. And not just, how is your stress? Fine. How are you doing emotionally? Fine. Dig deeper people!! It does not take up too much time and can save a life. Or thousands. That being said, we need more support for those docs who may get a “not fine” as an answer, because if that is said, and there is no mental health provider in the office, or coordinator who can help the person get to one, the doc who has a full day can be overwhelmed. Wouldn’t it be nice if a person shared that they were “not fine,” the doc says hold on, I have someone across the hall I want you to talk with about that who specializes in helping people with “not fine.” Go talk to them, then come back and we can talk about your arthritic knee.
There are several campaigns and support networks (and these are just a few) that I really like, to educate oneself on what to do, what to look for, and most importantly, as a close friend or family member, be empowered and have that knowledge to take action if you see your loved one suffering and you are concerned for their well-being.
The five steps include:
- Learn the signs (see above!)
- Do your part – How do you fit in? Are you a teacher? A doctor? A therapist? A parent? A friend? How can you help within that role to prevent suicide? Again, with knowledge, we can make a difference.
- Practice self-care – I preach this to my patients all the time and practice on myself each and every day. If I don’t, the grief takes hold, the depression creeps up, the anxiety and flashbacks get worse. We brush our teeth everyday to keep up with good oral health, right? Let us learn good mental health habits to have good brain health.
- Reach out – there are so many different options, the main being the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (TALK); Text “go” to 741-741; The Trevor Project (support for LGBTQ youth) at 1-866-488-7386
- Spread the word – the more we talk about this, the more it is not a taboo subject, the more people will get help
#BeThere – This is an amazing site to help support our veterans and service members!
#AFSP – The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
#AAS365 – The American Association of Suicidology
No one wants to see their family or friends in pain. We want to fix it, make it better. When you see someone who may be suicidal, it can be scary, what if I do or say something wrong? It often leads people not to do anything. Since Jesse and Bella died, I have wanted to die many many times because of the bottomless grief, the pain, especially around the loss of my sweet baby girl. It has taken my community of family, friends, a therapist, and a ton of self care to stay. I still have to practice this daily. My support people know not to take “fine” as an answer. They know the signs now. We all learned them after Jesse and Bella died. I wish I knew them then. So, dear readers, I continue to educate, to share, in hopes that with this knowledge, we can move forward in saving lives.
