I keep trying to sit down to write, I have an idea, yet my brain will not cooperate to get it out. Maybe next week for that.  For now, there are so many emotions swirling around making me wired tired. I am relieved, relieved that you are not suffering any longer and you left this morning peacefully. I am sad, I will miss so much. I am mad, because I wish I could have been there holding your hand as you left. I am numb. Mostly that right now.  You made an impression on all you met. Our hearts are all heavy today, yet I imagine because of that impression you made on us all, a smile pops up once in a while from a memory that you helped create. With tears in my eyes, my heart with yet another huge crack in it, I will hold these good memories, and be grateful there are so many.  Thank you for being such a good dad.

Christmas 2012